Solutions

You’ve put your foot in it. There is an embarrassed silence all around. The blood rushes to your face. You wish the ground would swallow you up, but there’s no escape. How can you get out of this awkward situation?

A workmate is showing an attractive young woman around the office. As he passes your desk you say a friendly hello and ask, “Have you shown your daughter round the top floor yet?" Your workmate blushes and replies uncomfortably, “This is my wife.” – how embarrassing!

You arrive at the office and start telling your boss about the incredibly ugly car parked in front of the building, not noticing straight away that he is not of the same mind. It is not until you get right down to the details that he interrupts, in an aggravated voice, “That’s my new car!” You feel the heat rising to your face and start to stammer.

If you can keep your cool in a situation like this, you are lucky – but very few can. Is it a skill you can learn?

Prevention and cure

First, you can prepare for this kind of situation. The risk of saying something inappropriate is at its greatest when you are among people that you do not know, or do not know well, so take special care if you have just been introduced to someone.

If you still cannot stop an inappropriate comment from escaping, then give a cheeky grin that says you know you have just committed a gaffe, at the same time employing a speedy diversion along the lines of “Talking of cars, I read the other day…” This will help you change the subject – and hopefully the person you are talking to can deal with the situation just as masterfully.

It is equally effective simply to continue talking or pass over the other person’s answer. For example, if you have just asked your newly divorced workmate how his wife is (and then realise that he only recently told you about his marital troubles) then quickly enquire about his children – perhaps he will then forget the first part of the question.

However, the most polite course to take is to apologise. Especially if you have said something tactless which might hurt the other person, the best step to take is to admit your error.

No doubt someone else has put their foot in it when talking to you before. React in a big-hearted way and help them wriggle out of it quickly. The tactics described above will help here, too – create a diversion or act as if you didn’t notice anything. Or simply smile and tell them about the clanger you dropped yourself recently: a change of subject in itself…

Image source: Getty Images, Photographer: Sharon Dominick